So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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