big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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