I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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