Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
