I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
