My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
