He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize