I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
