You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
