the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
