Tell her she can't have a vagina
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
