Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
