the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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