I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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