her vagine was all disorganized.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
