from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
