So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
