just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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