Yo dont text me then not text me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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