Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Terrible idea I love it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize