I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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