They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
