Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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