i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You made out with two different species that night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
