Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
