We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Girls should come with a carfax report
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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