I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
