Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
