every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize