I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
