i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
They have beer where we have blood.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
