can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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