Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
