I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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