He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
why is half of my head shaved?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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