Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
