she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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