so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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