quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so let's talk penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
