didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
