guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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