wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
