wanna go halves on a baby?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
