Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
