dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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