My room smells like vodka and shame
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize