I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
