Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
