Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
