So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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