I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
