No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
