dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
