help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
