the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
