Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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