laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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