Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
