sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
