Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
