If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
