just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
